John Gay

        You tell me that my verse is rough,
        And to do mischief like enough;
        Bid me eschew, in honest rhymes,
        Follies of countries and crimes.
        You ask me if I ever knew
        Court chaplains thus lawn sleeves pursue?
        I meddle not with gown or lawn;
        I, therefore, have no need to fawn.
        If they must soothe a patron's ear,
        Not I - I was not born to bear;
        All base conditions I refuse,
        Nor will I so debase the muse.

        Though I ne'er flatter nor defame,
        Yet would I fain bring guilt to shame;
        And I corruption would expose,
        Though all corrupted were my foes.
        I no man's property invade, -
        Corruption 's an unlawful trade;
        ...

        Esteem is frequently misplaced,
        Where she may even stand disgraced;
        We must allow to wealth and birth
        Precedence, which is due on earth:
        But our esteem is only due
        Unto the worth of man and virtue.

        Around an ancient pedigree
        There is a halo fair to see,
        With "unwrung withers" we afford
        Our salutation to milord,
        As due unto his ancient house,
        Albeit his lordship be a chouse.
        And riches dazzle us - we know
        How much they might or should bestow:
        But power is nothing, sans the will,
        Often recalcitrant to ill:
        And yet the mob will stand and gaze
        On each, with similar amaze.
        But worst of all the lot, w...

        How many saucy beaux we meet
        'Twixt Westminster and Aldgate-street!
        Rascals - the mushrooms of a day,
        Who sprung and shared the South Sea prey,
        Nor in their zenith condescend
        To own or know the humble friend.

        A careful farmer took his way
        Across his yard at break of day:
        He leant a moment o'er the rail,
        To hear the music of the flail;
        In his quick eye he viewed his stock, -
        The geese, the hogs, the fleecy flock.

        A barleymow there, fat as mutton,
        Then held her master by the button:
        "Master, my heart and soul are wrung - till
        They can't abide that dirty dunghill:
        Master, you know I make your beer -
        You b...

        All upstarts, insolent in place,
        Remind us of their vulgar race.

        A butterfly, but born one morning,
        Sat on a rose, the rosebud scorning.
        His wings of azure, jet, and gold,
        Were truly glorious to behold;
        He spread his wings, he sipped the dew,
        When an old neighbour hove in view -
        The snail, who left a slimy trace
        Upon the lawn, his native place.

        "Adam," he to the gard'ner cried,
        "Behold this fellow by my side;
        What is the use with daily toil
        To war with weeds, to clear the soil,
        And with keen intermittent labour
        To graft and prune for fruit with flavour
        The peach and plum, if such as he,
        Voracious vermi...

        (To a Poor Man.)


        Consider man in every sphere,
        Then answer, - Is your lot severe?
        Is God unjust? You would be fed:
        I grant you have to toil for bread.
        Your wants are plainly to you known,
        So every mortal feels his own;
        Nor would I dare to say I knew,
        'Midst men, one happier man than you.

        Adam in Paradise was lone;
        With Eve was first transgression known;
        And thus they fell, and thus disgrace
        Entailed the curse on human race.

        When Philip's son, by glory fired,
        The empire of the world desired,
        He wept to find the course he ran -
        Despite of altars - was of man.
        So avaricious hopes are ch...

        A steed with mutiny inspired
        The stud which grazed the mead, and fired
        A colt, whose eyes then blazing fire,
        Stood forth and thus expressed his ire:

        "How abject is the equine race,
        Condemned to slavery's disgrace!
        Consider, friends, the deep reproach -
        Harnessed to drag the gilded coach,
        To drag the plough, to trot the road,
        To groan beneath the pack-horse load!
        Whom do we serve? - a two-legged man,
        Of feeble frame, of visage wan.
        What! must our noble jaws submit
        To champ and foam their galling bit?
        He back and spur me? Let him first
        Control the lion - tiger's thirst:
        I here avow that I disdain
        His might, th...

        The country shelters the disgrace
        Of every courtier out of place:
        When, doomed to exercise and health,
        O'er his estate he scatters wealth;
        There he builds schemes for others' ruin,
        As Philip's son of old was doing.

        A wandless one, upon the strand,
        Wandered with heavy hours on hand:
        The murmuring waters ran and broke;
        Proteus arose, and him bespoke:

        "Come ye from court, I ask? Your mien
        Is so importantly serene."

        The courtier answered, friends had tricked him,
        And that he was a party's victim.

        Proteus replied: "I hold the skill
        To change to any shape at will.
        But I am told at court there be
        ...

        As Cupid, with his band of sprites,
        In Paphian grove set things to rights,
        And trimmed his bow and tipped his arrows,
        And taught, to play with Lesbia, sparrows,
        Thus Hymen said: "Your blindness makes,
        O Cupid, wonderful mistakes!
        You send me such ill-coupled folks:
        It grieves me, now, to give them yokes.
        An old chap, with his troubles laden,
        You bind to a light-hearted maiden;
        Or join incongruous minds together,
        To squabble for a pin or feather
        Until they sue for a divorce;
        To which the wife assents - of course."

        "It is your fault, and none of mine,"
        Cupid replied. "I hearts combine:
        You trade in settlements and deeds,

        A sneaking cur caused much disaster
        By pandering scandal for his master.
        The hound was beaten, mastiff chidden,
        Puss in disgrace, and pug forbidden.
        Each of his dearest chum grew shy.
        And none could tell a reason why.
        Burglars to rob the house laid wait.
        Betty in love, undid the gate;
        The cur was won by dint of meat;
        Remained the mastiff dog to cheat.
        The mastiff dog refused the bribe,
        And tore the hand of one beside.
        The cur off with the tidings ran,
        And told how he had bit a man.
        The master said: "Hanged he shall be!"
        They dragged poor Trusty to the tree:
        He met his master, and averred
        That he had been condemned...

        The lad of mediocre spirit
        Blurs not with modesty his merit.
        On all exerting wit and tongue,
        His rattling jokes, at random flung,
        Bespatter widely friend and foe.
        Too late the forward boy will know
        That jokes are often paid in kind,
        Or rankle longer in the mind.

        A village cur, with treble throat,
        Thought he owned music's purest note,
        And on the highway lay, to show it
        Or to philosopher or poet.
        Soon as a roadster's trot was heard,
        He rose, with nose and ears upreared;
        As he passed by assailed his heels,
        Nor left him till they reached the fields.

        But, as it happened once, a pad,
        Assailed by Master Snarl...

        (To a Lawyer.)


        My friend, the sophisticated tongue
        Of lawyers can turn right to wrong;
        And language, by your skill made pliant,
        Can save an undeserving client.
        Is it the fee directs the sense
        To injure injured innocence?
        Or can you, with a double face
        Like Janus's, mistate a case?
        Is scepticism your profession,
        And justice absent from your session?
        And is, e'en so, the bar supplied,
        Where eloquence takes either side?

        A man can well express his meaning,
        Except in law deeds, where your gleaning
        Must be first purchased - must be fee'd;
        Engrossed, too, the too-prolix deed.
        But do we shelter be...

        The traveller whose undaunted soul
        Sails o'er the seas from pole to pole
        Sees many wonders, which become
        So wonderful they strike one dumb,
        When we in their description view
        Monsters which Adam never knew.
        Yet, on the other hand, the sceptic
        Supplies his moral antiseptic;
        Denying unto truths belief,
        With groans which give his ears relief:
        But truth is stranger far than fiction,
        And outlives sceptic contradiction.
        Read Pliny or old Aldrovandus,
        If - they would say - you understand us.
        Let other monsters stand avaunt,
        And read we of the elephant.

        As one of these, in days of yore,
        Rummaged a stall of antique lo...

        "Why are those tears? Why droops your head?
        Say is your swain or husband dead?"

        The farmer's wife said: "You know well
        The salt was spilt, - to me it fell;
        And then to add loss unto loss,
        The knife and fork were laid across.
        On Friday evening, 'tis too true,
        Bounce in my lap a coffin flew.
        Some dire misfortune it portends:
        I tremble for my absent friends."

        "Dame," said the neighbour, "tremble not:
        Be all these prodigies forgot;
        The while, at least, you eat your dinner
        Bid the foul fiend avaunt - the sinner!
        And soon as Betty clears the table
        For a dessert, I'll read a fable.

        "Betwixt her panniers rocked, on D...

        A florist - wit had run a rig -
        Had set his fancy on a pig;
        Which followed master like a dog,
        And petted was, although a hog.

        The master thus addressed the swine:
        "My house and garden both be thine;
        Feast on potatoes as you please,
        And riot 'midst the beans and peas;
        Turnips and carrots, pig, devour,
        And broccoli and cauliflower;
        But spare my tulips - my delight,
        By which I fascinate my sight."

        But Master Pig, next morning, roamed
        Where sweet wort in the coolers foamed.
        He sucked his fill; then munched some grains,
        And, whilst inebriated, gains
        The garden for some cooling fruits,
        And delved his snout f...

        Remote from cities dwelt a swain,
        Unvexed by petty cares of gain;
        His head was silvered, and by age
        He had contented grown and sage;
        In summer's heat and winter's cold
        He fed his flock and penned his fold,
        Devoid of envy or ambition,
        So had he won a proud position.

        A deep philosopher, whose rules
        Of moral life were drawn from schools,
        With wonder sought this shepherd's nest,
        And his perplexity expressed:

        "Whence is thy wisdom? Hath thy toil
        O'er books consumed the midnight oil,
        Communed o'er Greek and Roman pages,
        With Plato, Socrates - those sages -
        Or fathomed Tully, - or hast travelled
        With wise Uly...

        Friendship, as love, is but a name,
        Save in a concentrated flame;
        And thus, in friendships, who depend
        On more than one, find not one friend.

        A hare who, in a civil way,
        Was not dissimilar to GAY,
        Was well known never to offend,
        And every creature was her friend.
        As was her wont, at early dawn,
        She issued to the dewy lawn;
        When, from the wood and empty lair,
        The cry of hounds fell on her ear.
        She started at the frightful sounds,
        And doubled to mislead the hounds;
        Till, fainting with her beating heart,
        She saw the horse, who fed apart.
        "My friend, the hounds are on my track;
        Oh, let me refuge on your back!"

        Seeing yourselves are wise, ye smile
        On fools and folly for a while;
        But water wears the rocks, and sense
        Is wearied by impertinence.

        The wind was southerly, the sky
        Proclaimed that a good scent would lie -
        Forth from the kennel burst the hounds,
        As schoolboys sally out of bounds.
        They hailed the huntsman; he by name
        Greeted each dog, who thought it fame.
        See them obey command: when bade,
        They scattered thro' the copse and glade;
        They snuffed the scent upon the gale,
        And sought the remnant of a trail.

        Ringwood, a pup, on the alert,
        Was very young and very pert;
        He opened - from exuberant spirit -
        But o...

        As Jove once on his judgment-seat,
        Opened the trap-door at his feet;
        Up flew the murmurs of creation,
        Of every brute that had sensation.
        The Thunderer, therefore, called his Eagle,
        Which came obedient as a beagle, -
        And him commanded to descend,
        And to such murmurs put an end.
        The eagle did so - citing all
        To answer the imperial call.

        He spoke: "Ye murmurers declare
        What are these ills which trouble air? -
        Just are the universal laws.
        Now let the dog first plead his cause."

        A beagle answered him: "How fleet
        The greyhound's course, how nerved his feet!
        I hunt by scent, by scent alone;
        That lost, and all...